Have you ever been on a trip and made a wrong turn off the main road? Maybe you went that way on purpose, thinking it was a shortcut, or maybe it was just a mistake. But as the road got more winding, steeper, more rutted, or narrower, you realized your mistake. So there you are at a point of decision--will it be better to keep pressing forward (surely this road will lead somewhere), or to retrace your steps? Well, that's how it felt for our family earlier this year--a point where there was too much contention and not enough joy. We didn't know how we'd arrived at that point, and we didn't know if it was possible to find our way back. But we began taking some steps in a new direction, and that's how we arrived at a greater understanding of why we have Christmas.
This is our family:
Alex is 6 years old, and loves first grade. He played T-ball in the spring and learned he wasn't supposed to chase down the ball and pick it up after batting. In the fall he played soccer, and got really good at running with the pack. He is a great reader, and seems to like doing math in his head. He believes in the old saying, "Early to bed and early to rise...," usually getting up before 5:30 AM, then pestering Mom until school time to allow him to play video games ("Screen Time" is his very favorite activity). He konks out on the couch around 7:00, and we have to carry him in and hold his head to get his teeth brushed. He is persistent to a fault. He is a good helper to get his jobs done. He is also very affectionate. His latest hobby is making up silly songs.
The highlight so far this year for 10-year-old Amy has been the 4th grade Hoe Down, where she got to square dance with her dad. When our family attended the hoe down, we discovered a picture on the cafeteria wall of her favorite place--Indian Creek, where we occasionally go camping with Grandpa and Grandma. Her drawing had won first place in a school-wide contest. She has her high-yellow belt in karate (testing in December for green belt, so keep your fingers crossed). Amy is the family "night-owl," giggling and playing long after the rest of us want to be asleep. Amy is working on controlling her temper, and she is learning to show gratitude. She loves Legos, video games and anything to do with Lord of the Rings. She is a great pianist, but she doesn't love it. She'd much rather be at the computer keyboard.
Laura is 11 and in 6th grade. She loves singing in her school choir. She likes to sit reading for hours after school, and she reads so fast that she can go through 6 or 7 books each week, so if anyone has any great titles to suggest...
She is an awesome defender on her soccer team. The U12 Girls Shooters took 1st place last fall with only 2 goals scored against them all season. Laura takes responsibility for getting herself ready for soccer complete with water bottles and snacks. She also takes responsibility for our cat (though Mom wasn't thrilled when the good blankets and pillows got taken out to make Socka more comfortable). Laura is very tender-hearted and strong-willed. Math is the thing that is most likely to cause Laura to lose her cool. She is a good helper around the house and a willing babysitter for Mom.
Callie is on the high school drill team, a member of the National Honor Society,and an amazing pianist and artist. She has a gentle, quiet nature, and she's a good listener. She is living proof that Depression and Anxiety can strike anyone, no matter how much they have going for them. She went through some very rough times this year, but thankfully, these illnesses are treatable. Through sheer determination, faith in God, and the miracle of modern medicine, Callie is not just surviving--she is thriving. She is finishing her last year of high school, and making plans for college. And though the whole family is supportive of her going off to college, we will all miss her terribly. She is Alex's best back-scratcher, Amy's confidante, Laura's access into the teenage world, Mom's shopping partner, and the greatest appreciator of Dad's jokes.
Leigh is in his 15th year of teaching botany classes at BYU. He works very hard all day long, and usually finds it necessary to be at his computer all evening to just keep up. But he has also managed to find time for a few projects to improve our yard and home. And he has tried to make time to support the kids' activities. He is currently serving as ward clerk--a job which puts his talent for organizing and getting things done to good use. He has become a runner, and has lost 30 pounds for his efforts.
I used to think I was being a good mother when I would say to the children, "There is almost nothing I wouldn't do for you." But I am learning that it is much better for their self esteem when I allow them to figure things out for themselves. So with this new philosophy and having all my children in school all day, I am beginning to do more for myself. With the promise of a small rebate on our health insurance as motivation, I am exercising a couple of hours every week. I go to lunch with friends. I do projects--like writing this update on our family, and painting the walls and ceilings in our house. I still spend a lot of time running kids around to lessons and activities and helping with homework. I am currently a den leader in cub scouts, and I'm getting a whole new appreciation for the energy of boys.
We're a family that's probably a lot like yours. We have our good days and bad days, and we're just trying to make our way through life the best way we know how. I remember that when our days were the darkest earlier in the year, I thought perhaps it was too late to make things better. But it's NEVER too late to do the right thing. We can't undo the consequences of past choices, but we can always make the path ahead smoother. And it's all possible because of Christmas--because Jesus Christ was born into the world to atone for not just our sins, but also our sorrows. And when we're really trying to do better, he walks right there alongside us. When we mis-step, we can try again, and again and again. Realizing this has brought a family a lot more days where the sun shines on the inside.
Best wishes for a joyous Christmas for your family and a fantastic 2014 full of many wonderful adventures.
