Remembering Poppie: 26 March 1920-25 February 2009

Leigh's father was a wonderful man. He led a long, full life. He served willingly and faithfully. He had a strong testimony of his Savior Jesus Christ, and he lived by what he knew. In life, he was a chemistry teacher, a farmer, and a lepidopterist. Perhaps he is chasing a few butterflies in Heaven.

We miss Poppie, but we know he is in a better place, and I know we will be reunited with him someday. I am grateful that my girls got to know their grandfather, and I am sad to think that Alex will probably not remember Poppie. It has been our habit to visit Leigh's parents every Sunday, and Alex always headed first to the cookie jar. Poppie would meet him there and pull out a cookie for each hand. Alex would climb up on his lap and give him kisses. Poppie delighted in watching Alex build with the Duplos and also seeing him spin around and around while his sisters played the piano.

That was a tradition too--Callie has been playing the piano for Poppie since she was 7. He looked through her piano book and asked her to learn one of the songs for him. Callie was able to play that for him during his final week of life.

Poppie was so proud of his grandchildren. He liked to brag about them to anyone who visited. He liked to say he had the smartest grandchildren around--all 23 of them.

On Valentine's Day, Leigh's mom called and asked me to send Leigh over immediately, then she hung up the phone. Leigh had no idea what he would find when he arrived. Poppie had fallen and broken his femur right by the hip. That night at the hospital, he was joking with the hospital staff and telling them he'd made it through WWII without an injury, but was shot by a buddy a few days after discharge while they were out bear hunting. The friend was so upset, that it was Poppie who got them both safely to help. That's the kind of man Poppie was.

Surgery repaired the bone, but Poppie did not do well after the surgery, and he developed pneumonia. He was released from the hospital, and hospice care began at home. He died peacefully there 5 days later with his wife and 3 of his 7 children at his bedside. He would have been 89 this month. He was a good man.

I wish I had taken more photos of Alex with his grandfather. But at least we have memories. And what wonderful memories they are! We love you, Poppie.

Happy Chinese New Year

It's a lucky thing that Chinese New Year follows the Western new year by a few weeks, because I have a second chance to start those resolutions--you know, things like keeping up better on recording the events in the lives of my family. If life weren't busy, I'd have plenty of time to write, but nothing to say.

We had our final post-placement visit with our social worker yesterday. That was the last thing we had to do to meet the "letter of the law" to make Alex ours. Wow! We have come a long way since a year ago when we desperately waited for news we could travel. The photos at the top are some of the ones we are including in our final packet to our agency. This boy certainly is not lacking in personality!

Alex has grown and changed so much in the past month. His language is really coming along. To the outsider, all his words may sound the same, but he uses the same sounds consistently to mean the same thing. I haven't stopped to count, but I think he's up to about 3 dozen words now. He also sings a lot, and though the words are just sounds, he gets the tunes right. Leigh reminded me that one thing his birthmother hoped was that he would have a love of music, as she does.

He is also capable of pretend play. He makes himself a pretend sandwich with the toy bread, pretends to take a bite, then makes an eating noise. He shares his sandwich with me and waits for me to pretend to eat it. His favorite activity is still his Duplo blocks--building towers, sorting, and sometimes throwing, but he is branching out in his play. He has begun to enjoy books. There are only a couple he will actually sit and listen to us read: The Very Hungry Caterpillar and the Baby Face Books, but sometimes when he gets really quiet, and we go to check on him, he is not dumping water out of the toilet or removing the eggs from the carton--he's sitting in the rocking chair looking through a book. I am in awe of how much he is learning and growing. He plays by himself more often, and is becoming more independent.

We told our social worker all of this yesterday, and unfortunately, we forgot to knock on wood. Since she left, he's wanted to be carried around almost every minute, and he won't go down for his naps. Perhaps it is that he is getting a cold.

Meanwhile, his sisters are all doing great too. Callie just earned 300 out of 200 possible points on her class science project, because she was so thorough. Her youth leaders at church tell me all the time how grateful they are for Callie, because she is such a good example.
Laura's teacher says she is a good friend to the other kids and a great worker in class. I took her to play at a new friend's house last week and reminded her to be on her best behavior. She smiled at me and said, "Mom, I'm always on my best behavior." Then she skipped up to the door while I sat there holding back tears. Laura struggled so much as a toddler, and she has become such a wonderful young girl. How could I help but cry.
Amy had her kindergarten physical last week. I can't believe how fast she has grown up. She is doing very well in preschool--learning her letters, and developing her social skills. She has a great memory for details, and often describes things we did a couple of years ago. However, she forgets within 15 seconds when I ask her to get dressed and brush her teeth.

Leigh has been doing some fix-up projects at home. We have finally hit our breaking point and have decided we need to find a new house. With the market as it is, we may be here for another year and a half anyway, but it takes so long to get anything done, that it's good to start now.
And me, well I'm reminded daily of the advice of a mother of 10: Put things like Get dressed and eat breakfast on your to-do list, so at least you can check something off.

Christmas Update 2008

Last year we didn't get our Christmas cards out. We kept thinking we were going to hear about picking up Alex, so we kept waiting. By March, we decided to go ahead and print off our Christmas letter to send, but then our printer stopped working...

Well, enough excuses for last year. Now I have to excuse myself for not doing it right this year either. But for what it's worth, here's our online Christmas letter:

Starting with Alex:
We were blessed to have him join our family in April. Leigh and I spent 5 days in Taiwan picking him up while the girls spent Spring Break at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Life has sure changed having a toddler boy in the house. He is 20 months old and a bundle of energy. I read a story about Thomas Edison and all the trouble he got into as a small child because of his creative genius. I'm thinking Alex has the potential to become another Edison. He pushes a chair to the sink and climbs up into the sink to give him access to everything in the window. In the amount of time it takes me to brush one of his sister's hair for school, he can have poured someone's leftover hot chocolate all over the floor, gotten into the fridge and helped himself to a yogurt, removed all the pans from the cupboard, and redecorated the Christmas tree. He has a vocabulary of about 2 dozen words that can be understood in context, but his favorite way of getting what he wants is the old-fashioned scream method. His favorite activities are building with blocks, playing in water, and chasing. He has become quite a tease and will sneak up on his sisters, grab something from their hands and run in hopes of getting them to pursue him. He loves to give kisses, especially before naptime, and when anyone uses the word "goodbye."

Amy:
She just turned 5 in November. She loves going to Miss Tonya's preschool 2 days each week. After her first week of preschool, she was telling us about some of the new friends she had made: There was Finlay--"He's just a little guy," and Briley-- "She's big years old." We sent Amy to preschool with high hopes she would meet some new girls to play with, but 2003 must have been a big year for boys, because there's only one other girl in her class. I suppose it's just as well, because Amy is quite the tomboy. When all the little girls are here playing princess, Amy gets to be the brother or the superhero. Her favorite clothes are big T-shirts and holey jeans,and she has her own dressing style. Last week she wanted to wear just one sock to school, because "only this foot gets cold." She loves singing Christmas carols, though she has been known to invent her own words--one of her favorites being "Joy to the Moon." Amy likes to procrastinate getting ready for bed, putting her clothes and toys away, and doing any jobs, but she sometimes, she is way ahead of the game. For instance, she has her Halloween costumes planned for the next 3 years.

Laura:
Laura is 6 1/2 years old, and is attending 1st grade this year. She is really becoming a good reader, and is also doing great in math. Laura is the social butterfly of the family and is always happiest when playing with one of her many friends. She has gotten to the age where she doesn't like people to laugh at her, so I'd better not tell you about the funny things she does. She began taking piano lessons in June and is really excelling at it. Playing Christmas carols has really motivated her to practice. She is also a great helper around the house--loving to surprise us by cleaning things up without being asked--and she's a great help with Alex.

Callie:
Callie went through the stage where she hated being laughed at, but now she's funny on purpose. She has developed her dad's quick wit and subtle sense of humor. She just turned 13, and is in 7th grade at the junior high school. Her favorite subject is English, because she loves to read and to write, but she does very well in all her classes. Her poem and photograph for the PTA Reflections contest were selected as a winners for her school. She continues to wow us with her piano playing, though she'd rather work at the computer keyboard than the piano keyboard. This year, she has also taken up percussion in the 7th grade band and had her first concert in December. Callie has a very sensitive and caring nature. Because of this, she was nominated by her classmates to be on the school's "HOPE Squad." She has also served as Beehive class president at church for the past 10 months.

Leigh:
He's been very busy with his university assignments and his job as managing editor for a professional journal in his field. The latter is basically a service position (he receives a small honorarium once per year) that has sometimes required more than 20 hours per week over the past 3 years. The good news is that he's currently working on his final issue before he passes the job on to the next volunteer. He also has been working on a few fix-up projects around the house and yard, and still makes time to play with the children. He has made up about a dozen verses for "The Wheels on the Bus" that he sings to Alex almost daily (making up your own words to songs must run in the family).

Deborah:
When I'm not chasing Alex or running the girls all over town or trying (without much success at all) to keep up with the housework, I'm usually so worn out that I'm asleep. But when I can pry my eyes open long enough, I like to do digital scrapbooking and sew. I serve as the secretary in the children's organization at church, and I've been very involved with the PTA at Laura's elementary school. Over the summer, I was a 4-H leader for Callie and Laura and 8 other girls. I've always got something going on that makes a mess!

It's been an amazing year for our family. Sometimes I can't believe that it's been a whole year. Other times, I can't believe it's only been 12 short months since I wasn't sending out Christmas cards last year. We have been very blessed. I hope that you and your family have a very Merry Christmas and many reasons to rejoice in 2009.

Feeling Thankful

I am really thankful for November. Our family has some pretty special things to remember in November. To name just a few:

1. On 15 November quite a few years ago, a baby girl was born in Taiwan. She grew up to become Alex's birthmother. I am thankful for the choices she made that allowed Alex to join our family.

2. On 21 November 1995, Callie was born to us. She has become a lovely, sweet young lady. I am blessed to be her mother.

3. On 26 November 2002, we saw pictures of Laura for the first time. We loved her before we met her, and we love her even more now. We surprised our family with news of our referral at Thanksgiving that year.

4. On 19 November 2003, a beautiful baby girl was born in China. Almost a year later on November 15, we saw pictures of her for the first time. Spunky Amy adds so much joy to our family.

5. On 15 November of this year, Alex was blessed (christened). Though it was not planned for this reason, I think it quite significant that he was blessed on his birthmother's birthday. I am thankful that all his grandparents were present to witness this special event.

6. This Thanksgiving, we will host Leigh's family at our house, and I am thankful that Leigh's parents have health that allows that to come, and that 4 of Leigh's 6 siblings will also be here. I am thankful for the blessing of family.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Making a List and Checking it Twice

My radio station has started playing Christmas music, so I may have a little Santa on the brain. However, my list has nothing to do with what we'll find under the tree. When you adopt, there are long lists of documents you have to compile to apply for adoption, and there are long lists of requirements you have to meet. When we finally check off everything on the list and send your paperwork overseas, we heave a sigh of relief and have a reprieve from worrying about the lists. Then the referral comes, and there are more lists of things to get done. When travel notice comes, there's another long to do list. In the country, there's another list of things to complete And finally, we have Alex on the plane for home, and he is all ours... but wait. Yes, he's ours, but there are still things we have to do to "prove it" and there's still someone looking over our shoulder. There's ANOTHER LIST! But once we finish that list, Alex is really ours!

I am happy to say that, as of yesterday, I have just two more items on that list.

1. Add Alex to insurance--check
2. Complete readoption--check
2. Get US birth certificate--check
3. Have first post-placement visit and submit paperwork and photos--check
4. Get US passport to prove citizenship--check
5. Have Alex sealed to us in the temple--check
6. Have second post-placement visit and submit paperwork and photos--check
7. Apply for Social Security card using that new passport.--check

8. Have Alex blessed (christened)--scheduled for Nov. 15
9. Have final post-placement visit and submit paperwork and photos.--scheduled for January

I hope I'm not missing anything! Maybe I'd better check my list twice, just in case!

The New Man, The Escape, Teddy Bears, and Nightmare Sleeping Arrangements

Twenty years ago, my young nephew returned from the barber shop with a new haircut and was told by someone that he looked like a new man. For a long time afterward, this young boy thought that anyone who got a haircut (male or female) became a new man. When Alex got his first professional haircut last week, I couldn't help thinking he looked like a "new man" too. I guess it was time for the haircut, because while we were waiting, another patron asked me about my "little girl." Alex really looks more like a little boy than a baby with his new haircut. And by the way, he loved the feeling of the clippers against his head. He sat so still with a big smile on his face most of the time.

Our new man thought he'd like to see a little more of the world, so on Friday, he ran across the street and down to the end of the block. We had just returned from spending the day with Laura's 1st grade class at the zoo. I hadn't had time to even clean breakfast off the table before we had run out the door that morning, so I was rushing to get that done when we got home. Alex went out to the sandbox, and Amy (almost 5) said she'd go play with him and keep him from going in to the road. I could see them through the kitchen window, and I kept checking to make sure they were all right. But then I looked out, and Amy was playing happily all by herself. I asked where Alex was, and she calmly replied, "Oh, I think he went out into the road." I went to the carport, and just then, my neighbor was carrying him up the driveway. Thank the Lord she had just stepped out her door to get some carrots from her garden when he went running past. She said, "He's going to be a handful, isn't he?" I don't need to join Curves or Golds Gym, because I get plenty of exercise chasing after Alex, and lifting him down from all the places he climbs (his highest record is the very top of the piano), and carrying him around to try to keep tabs on him.

Then there's that sweet side that keeps showing up. While we were in Taiwan, Callie went to Build-a-Bear Workshop and made a cute little Teddy Bear for Alex. She was heartbroken when he cast it aside. At St. Lucy's, he probably never even got to touch a stuffed animal, so he didn't know what to do with it. But he knows now. He'll pick up that little bear, and cuddle it and carry it around. He loves to sleep with it. He likes all stuffed animals now, but especially his gift from Callie.

But sleeping around here can be a nightmare. For 4 years, we've searched for a different house with more bedrooms on the main level, but this house has some things we can't easily give up. So we have our 3 youngest children all in one bedroom across from us. It wasn't until she was 12 that Callie was brave enough to have a bedroom in the basement, and no one else seems willing to follow her anytime soon. So the girls have bunkbeds, but no one really wants to sleep on the top bunk. One of them sleeps on the bottom bunk, and the other on the floor next to Alex's crib, or they might share the bed or the floor. The other night, Amy insisted on having the bed to herself (it is HER bed, after all), so Laura took the floor. At 1:00, Alex was crying, and when I went in, Amy was on the floor, and Laura was in the bed. But at 5:00, when Alex was ready to get up, Amy was back in the bed, and Laura was back on the floor. How does this happen?
Meanwhile, Alex likes to sleep in total darkness with the door closed, and the girls like to sleep with the door open and the hall light on. If I get Alex to sleep before the girls' bedtime, the girls can sneak in quietly to their beds. If he's asleep, he doesn't notice the door ajar with the light coming in. But then Alex begins to fuss during the night, so I try shutting off the light and closing the door to calm him down. Pretty soon, Amy is up opening the door and turning on the light. So what do you do? I might laugh if it weren't around 3:00 AM. My best solution so far is to put Amy on a blanket in my room and close the door again. Sometimes, I get both Laura and Amy on my floor. After nights like that, I tell Leigh, "We've got to find a new house!"

Then and Now

One year ago we saw this cute little guy's face for the first time. At that moment, he began working his way into our hearts. Seven months later, he was in our hearts and our arms. And now, five months after that, he's in our hearts, our arms, and everything else.

What a blessing Alex has been for our family. He's growing and changing so fast, and this year has gone so fast. What will this next year bring?